"Being attractive... it's the most important thing there is.
If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to make yourself as attractive as possible.
Be sure to keep your hair spotlessly clean.
Wash it at least once every two weeks... ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS!
And if you see Johnny Football Hero in the hallway, tell him he played a great game.
Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper."
- "Popular" by Nada Surf
I'm not sure what got into me tonight. Maybe it was the fact that on two separate occasions today, coworkers told me I should get on eHarmony. But by the time I got out of church, I was feeling like maybe it was time to work on my outward appearance a bit. I've been wanting to darken my hair for a while now... seems to be an urge I always get as soon as it starts being dark when I get home from work (stupid Daylight Saving Time). It seems like during the summer I get gradually lighter, usually arriving at some shade of red, and then as soon as the days get ridiculously short I go right back into the darkness. I resisted the urge to go directly back to black, though, and instead went with "Chocolate Velvet" or "Velvet Brown" or some stupid color name like that. It was the next shade up from "Black Stiletto", that much I can tell you. On top of the red I already had going, I think it has turned out rather well, though I'll have to wait for it to dry to be sure.
Men may want to skip this paragraph, lest they be put off brunettes forever. I'll wait for you to leave.... okay, you'd better be gone now. If not, don't say I didn't warn you. So one day I was having a conversation with the blonde twit who was cutting my hair that day, and she was coveting my insanely thick, dark hair and whining about how hers was all fine and blonde and straight, blah blah blah. I said, "Sure, the thick dark hair is great on your head, but you gotta remember that people have hair other places too." She thought about that a moment, and I could hear gears grinding... or maybe it was just the pea rattling around in that big empty head of hers. But after a few moments the rusty generator finally flickered to life and she said, "Oh!" and agreed that maybe she was glad her hair was blonde and baby-fine after all. I love traumatizing my haircutter people. But anyway, I have never been bothered particuarly by my thick, dark hair except for in one place... my face. I don't think I have any more hair in my facial areas than any other woman does, really. Mine is just thick and black is all, not all blonde and fuzzy. But I've long been slightly insecure about it, especially after a 5 year old Mexican kid told me I had a beard. (Stupid Victor.) So I decided to be all girly tonight and do something about it. Also I shaved my legs.
Earlier today I went by Toad's and wished the CTG a happy Wednesday (very sarcastically, of course). He did his big flirty grin at me and said, "If you didn't come here, nothing good would happen to me today." Sigh. I would love to have somebody who wasn't married (and preferably also of an equal degree of attractiveness to the CTG) flirt with me like that. Wonder if he has a brother... lol.
Anyhow, tomorrow I get to spend 6 hours in meetings. Meetings, in my opinion, are something Dante would have seen on his journey through one of the lower circles of hell. I remain convinced that if, by some unfortunate turn of circumstance, I go to hell, there will be meetings there. Lots of them. Lasting about 1,000 years each, with a 5 minute bathroom break in between, during which the line to the ladies' restroom will be backed up clear back to the edge of the lava pit. Tomorrow, I'm pretty sure, will suck. So I've decided I might as well look good while the world goes on with its sucking. :-) 'Cause after all, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fly off.